Now, I like this girl. A lot. In fact, I like her better than any girl he has dated since he was in seventh grade. I like her so much (and so does my husband) that when she comes to dinner, I don't use any animal products. (She's an ethical vegetarian.) I like her so much that for her birthday, I bought her a pair of plastic-frame RayBan sunglasses. I admit that I spent $100.
Thus the incident began. The store was supposed to remove the price tag. They remembered to put the gift receipt in the box, but they left on the price tag. My son discovered this--which led to two critcisms. First, I had left the price tag on. Bad manners. (He's right there. I should have checked.) Secondly, I spent $100 on her. When he was dressing me down, he said that her family is quite frugal and give each other frugal gifts. Spending $100 on her was somehow gauche.
Now, I would have thought he'd be pleased that we spent such a sum--it's evidence of our affection for her. But no.
A few days later she comes to visit wearing the sunglasses. They're bright yellow, adorable. But she's a little concerned that they're a bit too much for her summer legal internship. I agree. So she returns them for something slightly more conservative--white frame with wire bottom, but the same style. When I see her the next week, she's wearing them, and extra happy. They're the first pair of sunglasses with actual glass she's owned, and they block the glare, etc. She loves them. (They're also the pair I would have picked for her in the store, but when I called my son for advice, he suggested the yellow frames.)
So here's the thing: If she used the gift receipt, she knows how much I spent on her. And she seems happy, grateful.
So do I bring this up with my son? No I shall not. Because now the issue is that by including her in family celebrations, etc., we're assuming too much and putting pressure on them. Meanwhile, he attended her younger sister's high school graduation. He's in some of their family photos. (I saw them on FaceBook, but he told me about it as well.) I think maybe it's her family that's giving subtle messages that he's interpreting as pressure. But I tend to think they were just being welcoming. They are lovely, normal people. They also give normal gifts, I've found out.
Does my son really think I made a faux pas with the gift? I doubt it. Does he really think we're pressuring them? About what, I want to ask.
I think I have to chalk this up to one more incident of Life-With-Adult-Kids.
And as my grandmother used to say, "a mother's place is in the wrong." I have to remember that one. Frequently.
